When Cupid strikes, and we’ve been bitten hard by the love bug, few things can dissuade us from seeing all the wonderful attributes about our new significant other. We are in “love” (say that with all the dripping sappiness you can muster) and we don’t care who knows it.
Yet, once we say “I do” and the honeymoon has passed, real life has a funny way of dulling our appreciation for all those quirky habits, and instead we find our senses heightened to the frustrating behaviors of our new spouse.
If you’ve become less than smitten with the awesomeness of your husband, then today is perfect for you because here are my three simple steps to helping your husband be the man you’ve always wanted him to become.
3 Tips for a Better Husband
Prayer is our strongest ally in any relationship we have, but especially in marriage. Prayer has a way of evening the playing field when emotions run high, and the desire to manipulate the situation is strong.
“I urge, then, first of all, that petitions, prayers, intercession and thanksgiving be made for all people— for kings and all those in authority, that we may live peaceful and quiet lives in all godliness and holiness.” (1 Timothy 2:1-2, NIV)
When we go before the Lord with our frustrations and requests, His Spirit has this rare ability to grant us peace instead of anxiety, to bring unity in disagreement and to, ultimately, mold our hearts and wills to His image instead of our own.
If the urge to pick a fight arises, take it before the Lord before you take it to anyone else.
More verses on prayer: Philippians 4:6-7, Romans 8:26-27, James 5:16, Romans 12:12
Oh, friend! This one can be a hard pill to swallow on some days. When my pride puffs up, and life feels a little too unfair, it is hard to serve anyone but myself with generosity and joy. But that’s what we are commissioned to do. Besides doing so is so good for us.
“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.” (Galatians 5:13, NLT)
Serving helps tame our selfish hearts and gives us a tangible way to love someone despite how we may feel at that moment. Serve your spouse unselfishly and with great generosity. Do so as an extension of your relationship with Christ and see God multiple the long term fruit when you sow servanthood instead of selfishness.
More verses on serving: Matthew 23:11, Mark 10:45, Romans 12:9-13, 1 Corinthians 15:58
One of the greatest ways we can show that we love our husbands is how we speak to them and about them. Do we nag him about tasks or criticize him to our friends or family?
The words we are to be speaking to our husbands and about our husbands need to be words of life, full of respect and encouragement.
“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:29-32, NLT)
If we find ourselves being more “antagonist” than “cheerleader” when it comes to our husbands, then we may need to sit with the Lord and ask him to replace our discouraging tongue with a more intentional, life-giving one.
More verses on encouraging one another: 1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24-24, Proverbs 17:9
I don’t know if you caught on to this or not, but these three tricks to helping your husband grow are less about him and more about you. As his wife, you are his second-biggest source (second to Jesus, of course) of encouragement, respect, love and support.
If you want him to become a great man of God, then your role is a mighty one as God will use you as one of his greatest influences on the journey.
Let me close with two books that have specifically brought a lot of fruit in our home in regards to our marriage and my husband’s spiritual growth. These are Disciplines of a Godly Man by Kent Hughes and The Complete Husband by Lou Priolo.
These books have been two of the most practical discipleship resources that my husband read. I highly recommend them for the men in your life.